Hearts on the Rocks - Terry Newman

Fake dating wasn’t part of Cagney Adler’s plan to earn her PhD before she’s thirty. But neither was a rash of blind dates. When fictional characters, Alex Zurich and Blake Teesdale, leap out of the romance novel she’s reading into her world, they’re determined Mr. Rock Nerd would not only make a great fake boyfriend, but her happily ever after. The only way to get them to leave her alone is to accept the offer. But she draws the line at happily ever after.

Brad Townsend, geology doctoral student, knows Cagney Adler is the perfect fake girlfriend to help him avoid blind dates. Sure, they have nothing in common, but that’s what makes her ideal. There’s no way they’ll fall in love.

But the pretend stuff begins to look real, with double dates to the movies, and apartment warming parties. And wait, Cagney’s apartment becomes unlivable…and they find themselves roommates.

The fake relationship feels more real with every day.

My Review

I think that this must be one of the most fun romance books I have ever read. That's a big claim to make, I realise, but I'm not going to take it back. The concept itself is great, our couple Brad and Cagney meet on a blind date, but don't hit it off. Or at least don't think that they've hit it off. They decide to pretend that they are a couple, to put a stop to their friends setting them up with other people. Of course, we all know that a fake romance in a romance novel always turns into the real thing. To help them on the way, characters from the romance novel that Cagney is reading come to life and do their best to help them on the way. 

Blake and Cagney are great characters. They are highly intellegent, academic types and as is often the case, don't really have much understanding about real life or people. They seem to think that because they are studying different areas (science and humanities) then they have nothing in common. Is it any wonder they've had no luck in love when they think that 'their' person is going to be exactly like them?

Blake goes out of his way to make himself appear like someone that Cagney would want to date. All with the idea of making their relationship seem more real to other people. Or maybe he just wants her to like him, but can't admit that to himself. I loved the scenes of him trying tennis and yoga.

This was a lovely, feel good read and one that I highly recommend. It doesn't take itself too seriously, which just adds to the joy of the whole thing.

Bio

Terry Newman is the award-winning author of several paranormal novels and novellas, including Rewrites of the Heart, Heartquake, and The Wizard of her Heart.

She enjoys writing humor and creating off-beat characters, each with their own quirks. She’s spent most of her life in northeast Ohio, where she sets all of her fictional towns.

Terry has spent most of her adult life writing in some fashion, from small-town reporter to editor-in-chief and ghostwriter for a national natural health publishing firm. The last decade and half she’s worked a freelance writer, penning ebooks that range from Native Americans to starting a doula services business.

She has a daughter, a son-in-law, and a grandpuppy. Terry lives in North Lima, a real town in northeast Ohio with all of her characters. Yes, it does get crowded at times.

 

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Excerpt

 

“Casey. Casey. Wait up.”

Cagney heard hurried footsteps behind her; each one sounded closer. With her office hours done, she looked forward to her yoga class. A class she needed after the blind date disaster and the weekend of grading papers. And that damn book of her advisor’s that seemed to pop up everywhere. She had spent too much time reading it.

“Casey, please stop.”

Brian, no, Bradley Townsend, appeared at her side. She stopped and looked at him. His eyes were every bit as blue as they were Friday night. “What is your problem?”

“Why didn’t you answer me? Didn’t you hear me calling your name?” Brad’s brow furrowed and he ran a hand through his curls.

“I heard someone call a Casey. My name is Cagney.”

She met this man once. They mutually decided they had nothing in common. Why was he chasing after her? Was he stalking her? Was she in danger?

She took a step back and tightened her grip on the backpack hanging off her right shoulder. She’d use it if she had to. She’d swing it as hard as she could into his balls. That should be enough to give her a head start. Then she’d scream as loud as she could. No way he’d touch her after that.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. Your name is Cagney. I did it again, didn’t I?” He looked at his shoes. “I’m not good with names.”

He looked like a little boy. The threat of a stalker dissipated.

“I wanted to talk to you before your office hours ended.”

“You knew when my office hours were?” She scanned Brad from head to toe. Suddenly, he did look dangerous. “What kind of stalker are you?”

“I’m not a stalker, I promise.” He held up one hand. His blue eyes bore into her. “I asked Logan to ask Molly what your hours were, so I could talk to you. I have an idea about us.”

That was it. That’s all she had to hear. “There is no us. We both agreed to that Friday night.”  She walked. It shouldn’t have surprised her that he followed along beside her. “We decided we have nothing in common. Nothing.”

“I know. But I’ve got this idea.”

“Yeah, you’ve said that before.” She hurried her pace. Why? It’s not like she could out-walk him. Now that she saw him standing in the bright light, she knew him to be at least six feet tall—to her meager five four. He probably slowed his pace so not to get ahead of her.

Luckily, Alexander Hall was close. She stood at the door to the building. “I’m going to do yoga to calm my nerves.” She looked up at his blue eyes. That beard. “You claim not to be a stalker, but you’re acting very much like one.”

He gave her the hint of a smile. Her initial anxiety he would try something had faded a while ago. She wasn’t sure when. But she didn’t want him to know that. Now he was just an annoyance. Granted, a good-looking annoyance.

“Goodbye, Brad. Maybe we’ll see each other around the Physics Café.”

She reached for the door, but he beat her by several seconds and opened it for her. Very stalker-like. She ignored it and entered the building and headed straight for the room. He followed her.

“You’ll want to hear my idea,” he said enthusiastically. What could he possibly be enthusiastic about?

She entered the classroom, dumped her backpack at the door, and tore off her jacket, revealing a loose T-shirt. 

Brad watched her. She took her place in the middle of the floor and sat. He sat beside her. “I’ve got a foolproof way—”

“Sir, do you plan on taking the class today? This is not a university-sponsored class. You’ll need to pay the twenty-dollar fee if you intend to participate.”

She stifled a giggle. That should do it. That would get him out of the room. Out of her business. Out of her life, if she had any type of luck.

“Sure, I’ll take it.” He stood and pulled a wallet out of his jeans pocket. It appeared she had little to no luck.

The instructor, Harmony McKenzie, immediately started class once Brad sat next to her. “We’ll begin, as usual, sitting legs crossed. Keep your back nice and tall.” He had no chance to broach his idea, however absurd she was sure it would be.

Brad crossed his long legs and rested his hands on his knees. His eyes focused on the instructor.

“Listen, you’re tired of blind dates, right?”

“Now, we’re going to slowly roll ourselves onto our backs.”

Cagney leaned back and glanced toward Brad. He was already down and staring at her.

“I’m tired of blind dates, too.”

“Draw your right knee toward your chest.”

As she raised her leg, she watched Brad complete the task. Once he was done, he looked her way. “What if we hang out together in public, so people think we’re dating?”

“Extend the leg toward the ceiling.”

“What?” Cagney held on to her leg. “You mean you want me to pretend to date you?”

The instructor gave instructions to get back into the cross-legged position.

“Why would I want to do that?” The man had some nerve.

“So Molly won’t try to set you up with another man.” 

Harmony gave commands for the downward facing dog pose. He raised his butt off the floor. Once again, she noticed how tight and cute it was.

He glanced at her from the full pose, not looking the least bit comfortable. “Look, Logan already has me scheduled to meet someone Friday. And I’m sure—”

“A week from Friday for me.” Cagney watched his unsteady legs from her own downward facing dog pose. “But we don’t have anything in common. I wouldn’t know what to talk about.”

“But that’s the beauty of it. We don’t have to talk. We’re just two people together, working on our separate dissertations.”

She noticed his legs quivered even more. And he sounded out of breath.

“There’s no way we can develop any type of relat…friendship that would take time away from our studies.” It looked as if his legs had had enough of the downward facing dog.

He sucked in a breath. She wasn’t sure that was proper yoga form. “But the best part is that neither Logan nor Molly will try to set us up on blind dates again.” He paused. She prayed he didn’t faint.

“At least not for a long time.” He turned his head in her direction and smiled. “It’s a win-win.”

“Relax, class.”

Brad plopped full force on the floor. “Do you do this often?” He rolled over.

The man looked pitiful, lying on his back, his arms extended out, breathing heavily.

“Yup, three times a week.” Cagney did a few leg stretches.

He shook his head. The small, dark curls moved ever so slightly. “Do you like this torture? This, by the way, is called upward facing dead dog.”