You've got HOW many children?!

It's funny, it doesn't matter how many children you've got, other people seem to have set ideas on how many more you should or shouldn't have.  Actually, it starts before you've even got children, if you're in a long term relationship or recently married, then before long the "are you planning on having any kids?" comments start.  You'd think that the moment you had a child of your own though, this pressure to reproduce would stop, but I'm sorry to disappoint, it doesn't go away. 

Shortly after your first is born, the "do you think you'll have any more?" questions start, as though somehow one child is never enough and you should have another.  Then when the second arrives, opinion suddenly seems to split, some people think that you've had your quota and that you'd be mad to have any more, and others that you might have another.  After three, particularly if like me you have by now managed to have at least one of either sex, many people assume that you MUST be done.  Of course, any more than four would be madness.  Not that I'm desperate to have more children, but it does amuse me how the rest of the world has an opinion on the matter.

I should perhaps own up, I've been guilty of it myself.  Having babies is quite an exciting business, and it's always good to know if someone is planning on having more children.  On a more serious note, there are reasons to suggest that perhaps as a society we should have an interest in how many children people have or don't have.  Large families do place more of a strain on the worlds resources, and in the western world we already consume far more than our fair share of them. 

But really, when it comes down to it, it's no one's business but your own how many children you choose to have or not.  Whether you find other people's interest in it annoying or amusing, it really doesn't matter because on the days when it's raining solid, they can't get out to run off some energy and everyone's going a bit stir crazy, it's you who's going to have to deal with them, not your next door neighbour, who thinks it's about time you started a family.....

The curse of the mother in law......

Ahh, Mother in laws, that much attacked group, most people seem to have a love hate (or in some cases just hate) relationship with them.  Actually I really like mine, but of course it's never going to be a perfect meeting of minds.  I know we're all different, and when it comes to raising children there
are lots of different ideas about the right way to do things, but I know that with some things, she thinks my way is the wrong way. It's not as though she openly criticises the fact that I'm still
breastfeeding my toddler, or that my four month old hasn't started solids yet, it's more subtle than that: Little digs in unrelated conversations, suggestions based on what other people do, raised eyebrows in subtle disagreement when I mention my ideas.

With two boys of my own, I've often thought that if and when I'm in that situation, I'll be a little more understanding, a little less likely to judge. But, if I'm really honest about it, will I?  Do I honestly think I'd be the "perfect" mother in law. (Whatever that is!)

You see the problem is that with something as important as raising children, we don't like to think that we've got it wrong. Anyone who's witnessed the fireworks that surround any conversation about
the benefits of breastfeeding versus formula, early weaning or extended rear-facing in the car will tell you that people get very passionate about defending their parenting decisions. Imagine what
it would be like, to have another woman doing things very different to the way that YOU think is right and the way that YOU raised your children bringing up someone as important to you as your grandchild. Even if you both think along the same lines, new guidelines and ideas come out all the time, often suggesting that the old ways weren't a good idea.  No one really wants to accept that
what they did wasn't the absolute best for their child.

So of course I can understand why she might suggest things, and why we don't always see eye to eye, but it doesn't stop her from driving me a little bit crazy every so often....

Tandem feeding troubles

This is the second time I've been a tandem feeder, I fed my now 4 year old with my now 2 1/2 year old for over six months, until my son (the 4 year old) self weaned.  This time round, we're about 4 months in to the tandem feeding, and I can't see my 2 1/2 year old showing any signs of wanting to stop.

In some ways it's nice, I think it helps with the jealousy, and my daughters are showing signs of becoming quite close.  But it's not all good, there are difficulties.  My eldest daughter like's a feed at bedtime, and my youngest is generally in the evening grumps stage, so I have to feed them both at once.  I know that I'm an experienced tandem feeder, but I struggle with actually feeding both at once.  It's much easier and far more comfy to breastfeed one and then the other, and I sometimes feel that by having to share the feed, my older daughter is missing out on the one on one time with me that she used to have.  Having said that, I'm not convinced that she's that bothered.

The other MAJOR downside is illness, we all know that breastfeeding is supposed to help children to resist illness and boost their imune system, but what happens when the older one is ill?  My baby is bound to get it too.  With the odd cough and cold, things haven't been too bad, but last week hand foot and mouth struck.

Not really the kind of thing that I want my four month old coming down with, but by the time the symptoms showed it was probably too late.  It's difficult though, what to do, I don't want to pass these things on to my youngest, but I don't really want to deny her sister the comfort of a feed, especially when she's unwell.....

So, I read around, did a bit of research, and in actual fact tandem feeding was probably the best thing for both of them.  The chances of Anja not coming into contact with her older sisters bugs was pretty slim, especially as we didn't know she had anything.  But by feeding her I'm helping her immune system deal with it, and by feeding my older daughter too I'll be helping her beat the bug.

They both seem to be doing ok now, Lena is all but over it, and Anja has had a few spots on her feet, a slightly grumpy day (which could just as easily have been down to teeth at this age) and nothing else so far.  Touch wood they're both on the mend now.

Tick tick tick...................................



So the boys birthday's have been and gone, Mahe is now 4 and Kai 6. How did that happen? It's such a cliche but time really does fly by, one minute they're tiny little babies and the next they growing up fast.

Still, I can't really complain, yes they are growing up, but they are lovely boys, and when I look at how much they've changed and what we've done in the last six years, then perhaps it isn't that quick at all. It's more likely that once you have children they don't give you chance to notice how fast time is going. They change so quickly too that the passage of time is just more obvious, I suppose.

So, happy birthday boys, just the parties to go now, eeeek

Mice!

When I was little, mice were my favorite animal.  I even had a toy mouse I carried everywhere.  (Incidentally, should any one know the name of a children's book where a class of children all make mice from buts of fabric and name them after themselves, I'd be eternally grateful).  How has this love of mice been repaid?  Well I think it's safe to say that my love of them has not been returned.

We've been invaded by them from time to time in the last couple of years, which to be honest is a pain.  But the worst mouse "attack" came sometime just before Anja arrived.  I've made all of my children a beautiful crochet shawl, each a different design, with the thought they could keep them as they grow older.  Anja's was sitting ready in a draw with a selection of other baby jumpers and cardigans knitted mostly by my Mum and me.  After she was born I asked for the shawl to be brought to the hospital, so I could wrap her in it for the journey home.  Only to be told that it had three holes and a number of tell tale black poo's scattered throughout it.  Twelve weeks on, and I'm still in the process of remaking it for her :(  Fortunately nothing else in the draw was harmed, but I gave it all a good wash. 

I'm pretty sure that mice are not longer my favourite animal!

 

And her name is...........

Well our little lady is ten days old now, (already, how did THAT happen) and it's probably about time that we shared her name with the rest of the world. So, drum roll, here it is, we've decided to call her Anja. The only problem is that we don't have a middle name yet, so any suggestions would be gratefully received, to fit with the others it needs to be short, but other than that, we're open to any ideas.

A week ago we were still in hospital, little Miss was only a day old, and I was trying to get a bit of extra rest after a few sleepless nights before I even had her. Time has just flown, and yet at the same time, gone really slowly. I can hardly believe that it was only just over a week ago that I was still pregnant and I hadn't met her yet. Just over a week ago that I had three children not four. Just over a week ago that I was sick of being pregnant and just wanted her here, now. So much can happen in such a short space of time, it feels as though she's always been here.